After losing Chipmunk, I lost a lot of weight. My parents, especially my mom, became very worried about me. Now mind you, I did eat but it was like food didn't taste the same. When I did eat, it was in small amounts. When I returned back to work, EVERYONE noticed. All my clothes that I had in my closet didn't fit anymore and I stopped caring about how I looked. I was just going through motions. While I was going through this part of the grieving process, I talked often with a BFF, who by the way is widow of 7 years.
After our move, she came to visit and we had a serious heart to heart. She, too, also commented that she was concerned about the weight loss but she understood why. I reassured her that I was eating, although I don't think that she was convinced. I saw her practically every day and this helped me enormously. I often told her that she was free therapy. If I felt like crying, she cried with me. Since she knew my late husband, when I told funny stories, she would laughs with me because, most times she was probably with him at school when they happened.
As my son and I settled in, I gradually started to take more care of how I looked. My son was starting a new school and from what I saw of those moms at orientation, let's just say I had to step my game WAY up! This was the jolt that I needed.
Since nothing fit anymore, I had to start all over again with the basics and work my way up. I was job hunting in between all of this so I had to be methodical with my purchases because they would have to work in an office setting as well. I have to admit, it felt good wanting to shop again.
One day in the book store, I stumbled across Nina Garcia's What to Wear for Every Occasion Look Book.
What a gem! She gives you scenarios and suggests what should be worn for them. I have referred to this book now for several occasions that have had me stumped.
I am happy to say that my mom has put most of my weight back on me. I take more thought into what I am wearing and what I am going to wear. I feel better when I look better, if that makes any sense? When I didn't care how I looked, I felt miserable and wanted to wallow in my loneliness. One day I realized that I am not alone, my son and I have a family that loves us and is there for us. Looking good helps me feel good. I want more happy days than sad days. I know that Chipmunk wouldn't want it any other way. So see, it does matter....now.
1 comment:
chica, you NEVER cease to amaze me!! you mentioned ME in your blog?!?! how sweet ((*_*))
well, first thing first, i knew you had to find your own rythym OR as YOU would say your "new normal" and you did. i know where you are right now is not EASY but it is not without PURPOSE. there is MUCH more to you than you could have ever imagined! and as for the FREE THERAPY, well the truth of the matter is at this point in MY journey i needed you just as much. so you see therapy isn't so free after all - LOL. at any rate i am excited for you and all that is coming your way on this part of the journey. WE'VE come a long way chica and we have even further to go. i am looking forward to the journey and i wouldn't DARE tie a scarf or pin a flower
without you! ((*_*))
smooches,
flowers & pearls
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