After losing Chipmunk, I lost a lot of weight. My parents, especially my mom, became very worried about me. Now mind you, I did eat but it was like food didn't taste the same. When I did eat, it was in small amounts. When I returned back to work, EVERYONE noticed. All my clothes that I had in my closet didn't fit anymore and I stopped caring about how I looked. I was just going through motions. While I was going through this part of the grieving process, I talked often with a BFF, who by the way is widow of 7 years.
After our move, she came to visit and we had a serious heart to heart. She, too, also commented that she was concerned about the weight loss but she understood why. I reassured her that I was eating, although I don't think that she was convinced. I saw her practically every day and this helped me enormously. I often told her that she was free therapy. If I felt like crying, she cried with me. Since she knew my late husband, when I told funny stories, she would laughs with me because, most times she was probably with him at school when they happened.
As my son and I settled in, I gradually started to take more care of how I looked. My son was starting a new school and from what I saw of those moms at orientation, let's just say I had to step my game WAY up! This was the jolt that I needed.
Since nothing fit anymore, I had to start all over again with the basics and work my way up. I was job hunting in between all of this so I had to be methodical with my purchases because they would have to work in an office setting as well. I have to admit, it felt good wanting to shop again.
One day in the book store, I stumbled across
Nina Garcia's What to Wear for Every Occasion Look Book.
What a gem! She gives you scenarios and suggests what should be worn for them. I have referred to this book now for several occasions that have had me stumped.
I am happy to say that my mom has put most of my weight back on me. I take more thought into what I am wearing and what I am going to wear. I feel better when I look better, if that makes any sense? When I didn't care how I looked, I felt miserable and wanted to wallow in my loneliness. One day I realized that I am not alone, my son and I have a family that loves us and is there for us. Looking good helps me feel good. I want more happy days than sad days. I know that Chipmunk wouldn't want it any other way. So see, it does matter....now.
